I, an introvert who hates sports, played Football Manager 27, and here’s what happened
05
Nov 26
Football and I get along like a dog with a cone. That’s to say, I really don’t like it. I’d much rather watch a movie or enjoy a book than even think about the good ol’ British sport, except for the occasional social event when a World Cup comes along. So, when I had the opportunity to play Football Manager 27, what was my answer? Yeah, why not? While I can’t run around and kick a ball about, my virtual pals sure can, and I’m sure managing a team of young adults and leading them to victory with almost zero knowledge of football will be good. What’s the worst that can happen?
It all started with creating my manager. Considering my hefty amount of experience and my unbelievable knowledge of football, I was obviously called Callum ‘Football Pro’ Self, but I wanted people to refer to me as Football Pro. It only made sense. However, I struck my ego down by making my reputation regional only and having the dream of working for Chelsea FC—my dad’s favourite team, and by blood relation, mine. However, I also started my career managing Chelsea FC right off the bat, so I guess dreams come true and really easily.
After that came an onslaught of menus that, to my football-less mind, looked confusing. I delegated to my assistant manager and then took to the press, who picked apart the start of my career as odd. How can a regionally known micro-celebrity run one of the UK’s top clubs? Well, I picked it. Who knew that journalists could be so annoying? (Gazes at the mirror.)
Football Manager 27
Between all of that, I primarily picked a more offensive team, looking to attack and score goals rather than play defensively. I am still frustrated by England’s focus on focusing on defence after scoring a goal against Argentina. Ridiculous. I then delegated some more, this time relating to youth players and transfers, or something. I’m not sure. Before long, I was playing my first match against a team whose name I can’t recall. It was a friendly; it didn’t matter.
But my skills, or lack thereof, had finally come to fruition. In the 16th minute, one of the players lobbed the ball from a corner, sending it towards someone in the opponent’s box before they kicked it straight into the back of the net. Shouts rose from the small stadium, and I, ‘manager of the year’ cup in hand, raised my mug in delight. We won 4-0, and with that knowledge settled in my brain, my wife now has to deal with me commenting that I know football. Although I still have no idea where my youth team was loaned to. Oh well.
I may not be the best person to get an opinion on Football Manager 27 from. I know nothing, literally, but I know for a fact, as sure as I am, Callum ‘Football Pro’ Self, that this is a solid game for those looking to add strategy to their sports games. The sheer amount of things you can do is mind-boggling, and for those who are more aware of the world’s favourite sport than I am, there’s an impressive level of planning that goes into every match. Best of all, you can control and fine-tune so much, although I won’t go into detail on that, as I’m now nationally known as the manager to beat.
Callum Self is a videogames journalist who has spent more than six years writing about games, from guides and gaming trends to the weird little details that make a game worth talking about. His bylines include GameSpot, Wargamer, PCGamesN, IGN, Gfinity, and Pocket Tactics. When he isn't writing about games, he's probably playing them, collecting Pokémon cards, or wondering why his backlog keeps getting bigger despite knowing full well he doesn't have time to play it.
